© Copyright – Brown Bear Coaching Created by the team at Great Humans
Dear Gay Me: I am sorry. I have judged you, hid you, denied you and treated you badly at times. I did not support you, comfort you or stand up for you when I could have. For that, I am sorry…
Do you owe yourself an apology? I bet you do.
We gays didn’t ask for or want this to happen, but at some point in time we judged us. We believed and said things that hurt us. We denied who we are, and what we wanted. We condemned the sensitive, beautiful human being inside of us as wrong, undesirable and we tried to change (mutilate?) ourselves.
I find this kind of behaviour unacceptable. I accept that it happens, but I don’t accept that it must continue, or that it should happen at all.
I put in a lot of effort to prevent it, address it, heal the harm and help us be the shiny, beautiful bouncing baby boys and adult men we were intended to be.
Do you?
Really?
Do you still keep yourself small? Worry about your gay behaviour? Police your wrists, your language, your taste in clothes or posters or music?
Mmm. I thought so.
For many of us, we’re still habituated to this. Doesn’t make it right. Doesn’t mean we are ‘wrong’. It’s just behaviour we can change – if we wish to.
If we see it for what it is: cruel, rude, inappropriate, unhelpful, unkind, unloving. We can change – because we *want* to.
You are someone. You are human, no? You’re not wrong, so why should you need to police you?
For safety? Sure. I accept that. You may not always be able to be authentic, and there are situations in which you should lie and act to keep yourself safe.
When you’re the only one in the room who’s really posing any kind of threat to you (“don’t do that!” is kinda a threat), then you can see what’s happening for what it is, and attempt to change.
To live with integrity, and to show yourself the love and respect you deserve, you must address the unacceptable behaviour and teach yourself to learn a new way.
Try to treat yourself with the respect and courtesy you would extend to a stranger, or a child. Remind yourself as many times as it takes.
If you were this good to you, might you feel more comfortable in your skin?
More confident?
More ‘at home’ more of the time?
I think so. I think you know it.
Good luck with this! Let me know what happens.
If you want help achieving this kind of thing head here to get real good at it, real fast, today.
Self-Empowerment for Gay Men
Brown Bear’s Mission is to help gay men become the most well-adjusted, self-loving and effective people on the planet.
You are welcome here.
Using acceptance and taking action to avoid unnecessary suffering