Using acceptance and taking action to avoid unnecessary suffering

I feel my feelings when I’m alone. Because I don’t want anyone to judge me.

But I can’t seem to stop judging myself.

So I avoid my problem, deny it or explain it all away.

But it still hurts, and I just want it to stop.

Hello my precious, hurting friend. I‘m sorry you’re suffering.

You’re living; your story is being written; your life is happening, and it’s OK. The hurting alone, if it was like the hurt from a beloved pet passing, would resolve itself in time. However, if it’s recurrent or lasting far too long, and feels renewed again and again, you may want to take action.

Do you remember when you realised you were different, or gay, and how you fought it? How you resisted the truth, wished it wasn’t so, tried to change it? You’d sooner turn the sky red, but you tried all the same. This is common. This is an example of unnecessary suffering.

What happened to you happened. The meaning you make for it, is actually up to you. The pain will hurt, it does that. You can’t change that. But the reason it hurts… if that is because you’re rejecting, denying, explaining away something that’s real; then my dear your problem isn’t going to simply evaporate and you are causing it.

Just like you learnt to stop resisting the nature of your sexual self, I want you to consider if you can stop resisting what it is that is causing you suffering now. Can you accept something? Can you stop deciding it’s ‘unfair’? Can you stop demanding everything and everyone act and be in accordance with only what you want?

If you‘re ready to give up on the resistance/denial method, I’ve got a brilliant new direction for you to try:

Acceptance.

Things are what they are. You’ve got what you’ve got. What’s happened, happened. The meaning you give it – that’s up to you. The meaning you make does things, it affects you. It alters your mood, your sense of self-worth and can even make you doubt your own intrinsic human value.

Human rights aren’t just ‘nice’. They’re an understanding that we are all having a universal experience. We are the same, but different, and universally equal and valuable. You are too. No matter what you’re going through.

Judgement, avoiding, explaining away and doubting of your own intrinsic value, wondering if you’re ‘normal’? No thanks.

Think about this, if you want change. If you do want change, we need to use acceptance of what currently is as a powerful stepping stone to taking action that will begin to turn it all around.

If this sounds useful to you, why not try a free consult by clicking here.

Self-Empowerment for Gay Men

Brown Bear’s Mission is to help gay men become the most well-adjusted, self-loving and effective people on the planet.

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