How to keep it hot in the bedroom in a long term relationship

Let’s explore the understandable gay man’s concern: we won’t make it long-term because we can’t keep it exciting in the bedroom.

No one says “I can’t find a way to keep my self-pleasure habits fun and exciting. I’m breaking up with my hand!”.

No. We find ways to keep that activity and need perfectly fun and interesting.

But what about when we’ve been with our partner for a very long time?

Should we be worried that we won’t be able to maintain a strong and loving relationship due to fading interest?

If you want to worry about it, go right ahead! It’s largely in your power and your choice what to spend time worrying about.

If you watched the same fantasy in your mind, or the same clip online that worked for you once-upon-a-time – forever – you’d more than likely get bored of it, and lose the flame it once provided you.

If you treat your partner and your sexuality as if it is capable of maintaining this interest for the long term when (for most people) it isn’t, then don’t be surprised!

I’m not saying you must or will lose interest in your partner, I’m saying your fun sexy times and lovemaking must *evolve* if you, like me, enjoy the hell out of sexual novelty!

Here’s some basics: Ask for what you really want. What you REALLY want. That’ll spice it up. It has some huge benefits because what you REALLY want is ever changing but is always exactly what you want.

If you can’t find what you really want, have a google but then sit still damnit, and look inward.

Look inside to see when your heartstrings get a little tug when you consider sexy items or activities like eyemasks, butt plugs, ice cubes, nude beaches or threesomes. If your mind, beliefs and judgements are getting in the way book an appointment: I can help.

The most important thing is to be as honest as you possibly can both within yourself and with each other. This is the door-opener to all possibilities. It includes playing with others if you want it to. It includes whatever works for both of you in the way you want your relationship to function and look like.

If your partner’s wants and needs cannot align with you, and you’d rather end the relationship, that’s fine. Not all successful relationships end with death!

Have fun everyone,

Book a free consult here.

Self-Empowerment for Gay Men

Brown Bear’s Mission is to help gay men become the most well-adjusted, self-loving and effective people on the planet.

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